Dr. Franzblau: Hey, how's my favorite parenting team doing?
Ross: Dr. Franzblau, hi.
Dr. Franzblau: So, I understand you're thinking of having a baby? Well, I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start. How you doing with your contractions?
Carol: Oh, I love them. Each one's like a little party in my uterus.
Monica: I want a baby.
Chandler: Mmmm. Not tonight, honey. I got an early day tomorrow.
Monica: Get up. Come on. Let's get some coffee.
Chandler: Oh, ok, 'cause we never do that.
Joey: Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot, or just fall down. That's good too.
Lydia: Knick fan?
Joey: Oh, yeah.
Lydia: Oh, boy, do they suck.
Joey: Hey, listen, lady...whoa.
Lydia: Look, look at your man, Ewing. Nice shot. You know what, he couldn't hit water if he was standing on a boat.
Joey: Oh yeah? And who do you like?
Lydia: The Celtics.
Joey: The Celtics? Ha. They couldn't hit a boat if...wait. They suck, alright?
Lydia: Oh, shut up. You know, it's a rebuilding year. You... waah!
Joey: Wha? Wha..aa? Let me get the father. Hey, we need a father over here! We need a father!
Lydia: There is no father.
Joey: Oh, oh, oh, sorry.
Lydia: Ok, that's ok. I'm fine. I'm... oh!
Joey: Oh, uh, ok. Right this way. All the other pregnant women seem to be goin' in here.
Phoebe: Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute.
Monica: No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two?
Chandler: You'll get one.
Monica: Oh yeah? When?
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: Oh, no, no. No, I just meant hypothetically.
Monica: Ok, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: No, no, no.
Monica: No, What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
Chandler: Uh, uh.
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack!
Lydia: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. What do you mean, Joey who? Joey who?
Lydia: Joey Tribbiani. Yes, ok. Hold on. She wants to talk to you. Take the phone.
Joey: Hi, yeah, it's me. Oh, no no no, we're just friends. Yeah, I'm single. 25. An actor. Hello?
Lydia: She's not much of a phone person.
Joey: Yeah, so, uh, so, uh, what's the deal with this father guy? I mean, if someone was havin' my baby somewhere, I'd wanna know about it, you know?
Lydia: Hey, Knick fan, am I interested in your views on fatherhood? Uh, no.
Joey: Ok, look, maybe I should just go.
Lydia: Maybe you should.
Joey: Good luck, and uh, take care, huh?
Joey: You know what the Celtics problem is? They let the players run the team.
Lydia: Oh, that is so not true.
Joey: Oh, it is.
Lydia: It isn't.
Joey: It is.
Carol: All right, that's it. I want both of you out.
Susan: He started it!
Ross: No, you started it.
Susan: You did!
Carol: I don't care. I am trying to get a person out of my body here, and you're not making it any easier.
Carol: Now go!
Ross: Thanks a lot.
Susan: See what you did?
Ross: Yeah, listen...
Nurse: Breathe, breathe, breathe...
Lydia: Oh, no.
Joey: Ew! What is that? Something exploded!
Nurse: It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?
Joey: Water breaking, what do you mean? What's that, water breaking?
Nurse: Breathe, breathe, breathe.
Ross: Oh, Please. This is so your fault.
Susan: How, how is this my fault?
Ross: Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along.
Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me.
Ross: Oh, I'm threatened by you?
Phoebe: Hey, hey, ok, all right, that's it! Get in here. Come on. My god, you guys, I don't believe you. There are children coming into the world in this very building and your negative fighting noises are not the first thing they should be hearing. So just stop all the yelling, just stop it!
Ross: Yeah, Susan.
Phoebe: Don't make me do this again, I don't like my voice like this.
Phoebe: Ok, who wants to hear something ironic?
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