Ross: Uh, Rach, we're running low on resumes over here.
Monica: Do you really want a job with Popular Mechanics?
Chandler: Well, if you're gonna work for mechanics, those are the ones to work for.
Rachel: Hey, look, you guys, I'm going for anything here, OK? I cannot be a waitress anymore, I mean it. I'm sick of the lousy tips, I'm sick of being called 'Excuse me...'
Ross: Rach, did you proofread these?
Rachel: Uh... yeah, why?
Ross: Uh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills.
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh, do you think it's on all of them?
Joey: Ah no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.
Joey: Shut up!
Chandler: We're not—we're not saying anything.
Phoebe: What?
Ross: Uhhhh... Joey cried last night.
Joey: Thank you.
Chandler: We were playing poker, alright...
Joey: There was chocolate on the three. It looked like an eight, alright?
Ross: Oh, you should've seen him. 'Read 'em and weep.'
Chandler: And then he did.
Rachel: Well, now, how come you guys have never played poker with us?
Phoebe: Yeah, what is that? Like, some kind of guy thing? Like, some kind of sexist guy thing? Like it's poker, so only guys can play?
Ross: No, women are welcome to play.
Phoebe: Oh, OK, so then what is it? Some kind of... you know, like, like... some kind of, y'know, like... alright, what is it?
Chandler: There just don't happen to be any women in our games.
Joey: Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker.
Girls: Oh, yeah, right.
Monica: Oh, please, that is such a lame excuse!
Rachel: Really.
Monica: I mean, that's a typical guy response.
Ross: Excuse me, do any of you know how to play?
Girls: No.
Rachel: But you could teach us.
Guys: No.
Chandler: OK, so now we draw cards.
Monica: So I wouldn't need any, right? Cause I have a straight.
Rachel: Oh, good for you!
Phoebe: Congratulations!
Chandler: OK Phoebs, how many do you want?
Phoebe: OK, I just need two... the, um, ten of spades and the six of clubs.
Ross: No. No, uh, Phoebs? You can't—you can't do...
Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here!
Ross: No, no. Uh... no, see, uh, you-you can't do that.
Rachel: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no, that's OK, I don't need them. I'm going for fours.
Ross: Oh, you're...
Monica: Dammit, dammit, dammit!
Phoebe: Oh I see, so then, you were lying.
Joey: About what?
Phoebe: About how good your cards were.
Joey: Heh... I was bluffing.
Phoebe: A-ha! And... what is bluffing? Is it not another word for... lying?
Rachel: OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow...
Guys: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Chandler: Rach, Rach, we gotta settle.
Rachel: Settle what?
Ross: The game. You owe us money for the game.
Rachel: Oh. Right.
Joey: You know what, you guys? It's their first time, why don't we just forget about the money, alright?
Monica: No, we'll pay!
Phoebe: OK, Monica? I had another answer all ready.
Monica: And you know what? We want a rematch.
Ross: Well that's fine with me. Could use the money.
Rachel: So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.
Ross: ...Yeah.
Chandler: Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less.
Ross: Look, Rach, this is poker. I play to win, alright? In order for me to win, other people have to lose. So if you're gonna play poker with me, don't expect me to be a 'nice guy,' OK? Cause once those cards are dealt...
Joey: ...Yeah?
Ross: I'm not a nice guy.
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