First Date Scene
Jim, Lauren, TV, Bubbles, Bunny, Bethany
JIM: Got you, uh, Buffalo shrimp with the sauce on the side. They'll do that for me here. I didn't know how you took it so...
LAUREN: You realize that you're not actually looking at my face right now.
JIM: Very tight game going on there. I don't wanna miss it.
TV: You gotta really swing the ax hard to get those, uh, hits in deep.
BUBBLES: Hi, Jim.
BUNNY: Hey, Jim.
BETHANY: Hey, Jim.
BUBBLES: Cheese sticks in the shape of a heart. From me, Bunny, Bethany and Britney.
BUBBLES: Thank you, Bubbles. That's very nice.
BETHANY: Have fun.
BUNNY: See ya.
JIM: All right.
LAUREN: Hey, I noticed that you made eye contact with Boobles, but I'm not sure it was her eyes you were looking at.
JIM: So you organize closets for a living.
JIM: Is it hard to find people who can't organize their own closets? How does that work?
LAUREN: Well, it's not that they can't do it for themselves. It's that they don't have the time, or they don't do it efficiently.
JIM: Did you start with organizing glove compartments and just work your way up from there or...?
Listen, I'm sorry. I know this is not going well. I, I haven't been on a date in 20 years.
LAUREN: I haven't been on a date since senior year.
JIM: You get married in college?
JIM: Me too.
JIM: Yes. Is this not the weirdest feeling in the world right now?
LAUREN: Like Weird Al starring in Weird Science.
JIM: Yes. I like that. You just came up with that?
JIM: Very good.
LAUREN: You know, I think I will have one of these Buffalo shrimp. And I'll have it with the sauce.
LAUREN: Oh, my God. Oh!
JIM: It's hot.
LAUREN: Oh, my God. Who makes sauce this hot? I just... Did you drink my beer?
JIM: No. No, no. I think you did.
LAUREN: Boobies! Buddy! Britney! Can you get me some water?
JIM: Here. Have some French onion soup.
LAUREN: You know, I'm curious. With so many possible reasons, which one's the one your wife left you for?
LAUREN: I'm sorry. I naturally just assumed you were divorced.
JIM: It's okay. I naturally assumed your husband shot himself. So we're even.
(phone rings) I gotta take this.
(into the phone) Hello. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down! An avalanche in our backyard? I'll be home right away.
(to Lauren) It's an emergency. I'm sorry.
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