A Millennial Job Interview
ABRAHAM: Amy, it says you are trained in technology. That's very good. Are you adept at Excel?
AMY: Not really.
ABRAHAM: Exactly in what area of technology are you proficient?
AMY: Snapchat, Pinterest, Instagram, Vine, Twitter... you know, the big ones.
ABRAHAM: I'm surprised you didn't save Facebook
AMY: That's for old people like my parents.
ABRAHAM: Well, Amy, when you're working for me, you have to have those kinds of research skills because I'll send you things for you to comb through and get the answers and send them to me. So for that you've got to be really good at technology.
AMY: For stuff like that, no problem. I'll just ask Siri.
ABRAHAM: You'll just ask Siri?
AMY: You know, Siri, tell me this... Siri, find me that... we're all good getting you the answers.
ABRAHAM: Tell Siri I want you ready to go at 8:00 sharp each and every morning.
AMY: I don't understand.
ABRAHAM: What don't you understand?
AMY: What you just said.
ABRAHAM: You don't understand, "be ready to go?"
AMY: No, you said 8:00, right?
AMY: 8:00, like, in the morning, 8:00?
ABRAHAM: Yes, in the morning.
AMY: Yeah, that kind of doesn't work for me. Who gets up at 8:00?
ABRAHAM: I do.
AMY: I Skype with my French boyfriend in Paris until, like, 3:00 in the morning. I don't even get to Starbucks until, like, 10:00 where I order my grande chai tea latte, three pumps, skim milk, light water, 2% foam, extra hot -- but not too hot -- so, if it's okay, I work best in the morning at 10:45.
ABRAHAM: Wow. Amy, I don't think we're gonna be a good fit.
AMY: Why are you so negative? I can sense your hostilities and right now I am not feeling very safe. I've been here for over five minutes and the only nice thing you have said to me was nice resume which I typed all night for this meeting with you. You've given me no guidance, no validation, no encouragement, no supervision.. is there an HR Director somewhere?
ABRAHAM: HR Director?
AMY: Yes, I need to speak to someone. I may have to take off today as a mental health day.
ABRAHAM: Take today off? You.. Amy.. Amy, look at me. You don't work here.
AMY: Are you firing me?
ABRAHAM: Okay, yes.
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